Date rape large issue for both sexes

By Nick Obradovich

Rape is evil. The vast majority of us here at Santa Clara are very clear on this fact. We generally condemn the extremely vicious violation of a person's bodily integrity, and we recognize that the effects of rape are disastrous for its victims.

We understand the brutality of rape because we hear of it regularly. We view rape trials on "Law & Order." We see rape in numerous Hollywood movies. We also have rape prevention programs such as One in Four and Every Two Minutes (both named after statistics for how frequently women are raped in this country). However, even though we are consciously aware of the effects of rape, we frequently overlook its prevalence and its subtle effects, especially here at Santa Clara.

The type of rape that occurs at Santa Clara is usually not the back-alley, stranger rape often portrayed by Hollywood. Usually, it manifests as "date rape" or "acquaintance rape." These terms describe a non-aggravated rape committed either by someone that the woman knows closely or by an acquaintance. An estimated 85 percent of rapes are perpetrated by someone the woman knows. (To be clear, both men and women are raped; however, in a vast majority of cases men are the rapists). Since this is a terribly disturbing statistic for me, I can understand how even more unsettling the knowledge could be for females.

We repeatedly hear the direct negative effects of date rape on the victim, and, to be sure, I do not want to downplay them at all. I personally know women who have been date raped, and they still suffer from the trauma years later. However, I want to highlight the broader impacts beyond the personal ramifications of rape.

A date rape on campus affects every one of us, whether we are consciously aware of it or not. This might not seem readily apparent at first thought, so let us analyze the larger implications of a date rape.

Let's say a woman is raped by someone she knows. This leads to terrible consequences for the victim, and possible prosecution of the rapist. The knowledge of the rape might then be disseminated amongst her friends. These women become aware of the real possibility that some man they know could rape them. This, in turn, could lead to a deep-seated suspicion of men around them. Thoughts such as, "Is the guy next to me in class likely to be a rapist?" or "Will the guy who just asked me out become forceful and rape me if I go home with him?" are not outlandish. These sentiments are what most college women want to deny or ignore -- the man most likely to rape a woman could be the one sitting next to her in class.

Such knowledge breeds fear and mistrust. Women at Santa Clara reported 11 rapes last year, according to the Office of Student Life, and many more likely went unreported. The realization that rape happens to other women on this campus allows for the fear that rape could happen to any woman.

If any man on campus could be a rapist, and any woman on campus could be raped, it's easy to see how even a small number of reported rapes can have detrimental affects on relationships between men and women at Santa Clara. Whether we are conscious of these facts or not, they are there.

Given the personal evils as well as the societal repercussions of rape, both men and women must do their parts to stop it.

Men, we hear it repeatedly. "No means no." If a woman you are sexually involved with says no at any point during a sexual encounter, immediately stop what you're doing. It's that simple. Give the woman that you are with the dignity that she deserves and respect her right to bodily integrity.

Women also share responsibility for preventing date rape. In an illuminating article, Stephen Schulhofer cites recent surveys that found 35 to 40 percent of women had, at some point, used the word "no" to in fact mean "yes." The reasons for saying "no" include the desire to be in more control, to appear less promiscuous and "to get him more sexually aroused by making him wait." When "no" is used in these manipulative ways, it takes away from the word's power. This is not a time for mixed messages. Women must not give false meaning to the powerful declaration of "no."

These prescriptions highlight the importance of interpersonal communication. Sexual communication is essential for both men and women. If we truly care for the people we have relations with, we ought to make our intentions vividly clear. Ideally, situations where "no" has to be said would not exist. Preferably, everyone would communicate their desires to their partner.

I am tired of the "guilt by association" placed on men that's created by the callous actions of those who go against a woman's desires. I know these suggestions, alone, cannot end rape, but I hope they can start to prevent it on this campus and in society as a whole.

Nick Obradovich is an undeclared sophomore.